


Prank Wars

by chemically_imbalanced_romance



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Sympathetic Deceit, Sympathetic Remus, live rats, lots of caps lock but no actual angry yelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 11:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19614052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chemically_imbalanced_romance/pseuds/chemically_imbalanced_romance
Summary: Remus plays a prank on Roman, and it all spirals out of control. Everybody gets in on it.





	Prank Wars

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission! If you'd like to commission a fic from me, all of my info is on my blog @chemically-commissions on tumblr, which is also where you can message me to start the commission process. I've been having a lot of trouble with money lately since I've moved out on my own, and I'll write goddamn near anything for you lmao.

“No running in the house!” Patton cried, exasperated. 

Roman and Remus shoved at each other as they ran into their room. Something crashed inside the room. 

“Ow!” 

Patton hurried to stand in the doorway, hands on his hips. He sighed. Roman was sitting on the floor, rubbing his head and pouting. Remus was laughing. 

“Remus! What did you do?!” 

“He pushed me!” Roman said. 

“He deserved it.” 

Patton raised an eyebrow. “And why’s that?” 

“Because he did.” 

Patton sighed, putting his face in his hands. “Alright, come on,” he shooed them into bed, “time for bed.” 

Remus slid into the bottom bunk, Roman climbing the ladder to his half. He pulled the covers back, and screamed, falling backwards off the bunk. Patton jumped, Remus breaking out into a fresh round of laughter. Dozens of live mice scurried out from under the covers and pillows, poofing out of existence. 

“REMUS!” Patton hurried to help Roman up. “Are you okay?!” 

“That hurt!” Roman whined. 

Patton frowned, looking at his leg. “This is going to bruise…” 

“I’LL NEVER WALK AGAIN.” 

“That’s not what I-” 

“YOU’LL HAVE TO CARRY ME EVERYWHERE.”

“Roman, no-” 

“I’M GONNA HAVE TO SIT ON A STOOL IN THE VIDEOS OR ELSE I WON’T BE IN FRAME.”

“ _ Roman _ . You’re going to be fine!” 

Roman threw his arm out, pointing at Remus. “You will pay for this!” 

He laughed maniacally under his Disney villain themed blankets. “I’m sure.” 

Patton managed to get them to settle down enough to sleep, but he had no idea what was coming next. 

The next day, Roman went to see Virgil in his room. It was one pm., but he was still sleeping, with his pet spider rested on his chest. Roman stayed on the far side of the room, holding his sword and staring at the insect suspiciously. 

“Virgil-!” He stage-whispered. “ _ Virgil _ !” 

Virgil jumped up, catching his spider before it could hurry away. “Roman?” He scowled. “It’s, like, five in the morning!” 

Roman raised an eyebrow. “It’s past noon.” 

He looked out the window, confused. “Whatever,” he grumbled, standing to put Angel away. “What do you want?”

Roman put his sword away. “I need your help.” 

It took a long time to convince him. Virgil was insistent on not getting caught up in something like this, but Roman reminded him of all the harmless pranks Remus and Deceit have pulled on him. 

“Why don’t you just use Remus’s own thing against him?” Virgil asked, like it was obvious. “He’s a gross garbage man. Turn him into a trashcan. He’s a dark side, so he won’t be able to shapeshift himself back. Just don’t leave him like that.” 

“THAT’S BRILLIANT.” Roman grabbed his hand and dragged him downstairs. 

“I don’t have enough coffee for this shit-” 

They found Remus and Deceit in the kitchen, stealing Patton’s cookies. 

“Hey, dork,” Remus said with his mouth full. 

“Hey, come here for a sec.” 

“What?” Remus set the cookie down, coming to stand in the middle of the kitchen. 

Roman snapped, and suddenly Remus was a trashcan- Metallic green and covered in grime and cigarette ash. He was filled to the brim with trash. 

“Hey!” His voice echoed from inside the can. “TURN ME- Actually this isn’t bad. Wow, I’ve found my true form.”

Roman whined. “Virgil!” 

He barely glanced up from his coffee. “Turn him into a clean trashcan.” 

Roman did so, and Remus cried out. “Hey! Turn me back! Turn me back right now!” 

“Roman!” Deceit glanced between them all, his eyes wide. “Turn him back this instant!” 

Roman snapped, and Deceit was suddenly a trashcan as well- A bright yellow one. 

“Well, this is just wonderful. Exactly what I wanted.” 

Virgil doubled over in laughter, gripping his coffee mug as Remus and Deceit yelled over each other. 

Patton ran into the room, and gasped. “Is that Remus and Deceit?!” 

“ _ No _ ,” Virgil snickered, “we just decided to redecorate.” 

“We’re taking the trash out,” Roman said. 

Patton changes them back, and goes to ground Roman, but he sprints out of the room. Remus jumps up and follows. 

Deceit huffed, fixing his gloves and picking up his hat. “That was… Unusual.” 

“I’m so sorry, Deceit,” Patton groaned. “They’ve been acting crazy!” 

“Having a little trouble keeping the house together?” Deceit adjusted his cloak, sighing. “And I’ve been roped into it… Well, good luck.” 

“You can’t at all try to keep Remus calm?”

Deceit laughed. “No one can control Remus.” 

The next day, Deceit and Remus met in Logan’s room. He was sitting at his desk, typing away at his laptop. It looked like a schedule for Thomas. 

“What do you want?” 

“We want to get back at Virgil and Roman,” Remus said. 

They briefly explained what’s been happening, and Logan sighed. 

“Why do you think I want to be involved?” He shook his head, closing his laptop. “This is the most ridiculous waste of time you’ve come up with left.” 

“Hmmp. That’s fine.” Deceit looked away, the snake side of his face facing Logan. “Just don’t come to us next time they make fun of you.” 

“Like you’ve never wanted to get back at them,” Remus chuckled. “The thoughts that go through your head every time Roman calls you a nerd.” 

Logan hesitated. “Well, it wouldn’t be productive…” 

“Oh? It wouldn’t be productive?” Deceit asked. “It wouldn’t be productive to finally get them to stop? Forever?” 

“We’ll prank them that good,” Remus promised. 

Logan sighed. “Fine. I do have an idea.” 

“Oh?” 

“What is it?” 

“You can’t make fun of me.” 

“Of course not.” 

“Never.” 

“There was this thing…” Logan blushed, “in Harry Potter.”

Remus and Deceit stared at them, and held in laughter. “Okay.” 

“Basically, it was a device that made a lot of noises and chaos. I’ve always wanted to use one on someone. It would be loud enough to get Virgil, and confusing enough to get Roman.” 

“And can you make one of these?” Deceit asked. 

“I already did!” Logan jumped up, and went to his bookshelf. He pulled off a large, metal sphere, with uneven surfaces and large metal stems poking out of it. “Except this one- The reaction is  _ bigger _ .” 

Deceit and Remus looked at each other, and grinned. 

They waited for the perfect time to set it off. They had to wait for Virgil and Roman to be in the living room, without Patton- It would just upset him. They also wanted to make sure Virgil was able to see that it was Logan who set it off. Virgil trusted him, and they knew that if he saw him set it off, he’d know it was harmless. Otherwise, all the random, loud noises might end up giving him a panic attack, and there was nothing fun about that. 

Remus and Deceit waited out in the hall while Logan walked in so the others weren’t tipped off. Logan turned the television off, Virgil and Roman jumping to complain and ask why he did it, and then Logan laid down the device. Roman and Virgil stared at it, bewildered, when Logan hit the button. 

It turned the Mindscape into in a disaster zone. There were screeching police sirens outside, an earthquake in the kitchen, and hostile bears upstairs. Roman jumped up with his sword, spinning all around, unsure what to fight. Virgil groaned and pushed a pillow in his face. 

“MAKE IT STOP.” 

Deceit and Remus ran in, breaking out into laughter, as Patton stopped in the doorway. He watched the commotion, so exasperated all he could do was watch. 

Virgil jumped off the couch and snatched Roman’s sword, slamming the hilt against the noisemaker until the Mindscape went back to normal. Logan screamed. 

He knocked the sword out of Virgil’s hands, falling on his knees to mourn his creation. 

“HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?” 

“What did you expect me to do?!” 

“Not that!” 

“Well next time don’t bring it in here!” 

As the two continued arguing, Roman laid down face first on the couch. Patton stormed inside, finally, looking around at everyone. 

“We broke Roman!” Remus cried. 

Roman looked up and glared at him. He jumped up, stomping over to him. “What’s your problem?” 

“Hey, you started it.” 

“I DID NOT.” 

Before anyone could comprehend it, the brothers were wrestling, Roman trying to pull Remus into a headlock. 

“LOOK WHAT YOU’RE DOING TO EACH OTHER,” Patton cried. “Can someone please get Roman off of him?!” 

Deceit grabbed Roman by the collar and yanked him back. Patton grabbed Virgil by the hood and did the same thing. 

“All of you need to stop fighting!” He demanded. “This has gone far enough!”

“Dad, we’re not  _ fighting _ ,” Virgil said. “We’re just…” 

“Driving me crazy!” He finished. “Will you all  _ promise _ to knock it off? Please?” 

They glanced at each other. Virgil sighed. “Yeah. Of course.” 

“My apologies.” Logan cleared his throat and straightened his tie. “I… Got carried away.” He blushed. 

Roman and Remus looked at each other, and glared. “I can’t promise anything.” 

Deceit grabbed onto Remus’s ear, hard, and Remus whined. “Fine, fine! I promise!” 

Deceit gave Roman a look, and Roman surrendered, too. “Yeah, fine!” 

“Thank you,” Patton sighed. He gestured around to the living room. “Now- Clean this mess up! Right now!” 

A few weeks later, Patton was alone in the kitchen, baking cupcakes. He had checked all his ingredients that morning to make sure he didn’t need Roman to conjure anything, since he was going to be out all day. He skipped to the fridge to find the milk, only to frown. The clear milk jug was filled with black liquid. 

There was a sticky note on the container. Patton plucked it off and brought it close, squinting at it. It was a very poor doodle of Remus, Deceit, and Virgil. 

Patton straightened up. They were going to pay for this. 


End file.
